Day: February 21, 2009

I write this with still-shaking hands, the events described below are no more than ten minutes old.

Saturday was a day for rest and relaxation, or so they say.  I was lounging on the couch in nothing more than a pair of underwear when the serenity was abruptly ended.

THUD! THUD! THUD THUD THUD THUD!, went the door, loud, determined, forceful, even angry knocks over and over. I quietly got up and went into the bathroom where the clothes from last night still lay and put them on, listening intently at some scattered conversation at the door. I could pick out the words “Office Depot”, and could hear two voices, which meant there were two guys outside and they were looking for me. Oh hell, what have I gotten myself into. For a full two minutes the door was assaulted with closed fist, and then I heard another sound. A police radio. My fear turned into confusion as I didn’t believe I’d done anything to get me on the wrong side of the police.

I must’ve been a sight to see, wrinkled red shirt, wrinkled blue jeans, wild unkempt hair from sitting on the couch watching MythBusters episodes. I unlocked the door and stepped onto the porch in bare feet. The officer whose eyes I met did not look amused.

“Good morning.” obviously said in sarcasm as it was 3 in the afternoon and I looked to all intents and purposes like I’d just gotten out of bed.
“Good morning, sir.”
“Are you…Brian?”

Who?

“No sir, I’ve seen some mail for him but my name’s Daniel.”
“I see, and you obviously do not live with Brian.”

Now, I’m so frequently mistaken for being gay that I was almost offended that he assumed I was straight. As ludicrous as that … (More) “The Palisander Conspiracy, Part II: The Mystery Of M7”

Months ago, Basenotes’ mikeperez23 was kind enough to mail me a sample of CdG Series 2 Red: Palisander. However I never ended up seeing it, and was quite disappointed that it either had been lost in the mail or stolen from my mailbox.

It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I found out what happened to it.

June 20th, 2008 (or thereabouts)

There was a man, let’s call him Mister P, though his name is actually…

James P.
1416 S 3rd St
Louisville, KY 40208

But this mysterious Mister P used to live at the address that I live at now, and on that fateful day he got the mail, including a padded envelope from Miami, Florida. Not realizing that it was not for him, but perplexed nonetheless, he opens the package. Inside is a tiny glass spray bottle, with one word on it in black on a white label.

PALISANDER

Mister P stared at the bottle, and bottle stared back at him as bottles are sometimes known to do in late June when you’ve had a few. He calls a few friends and asks them to come over and help him with a problem. Let’s call them Dick and Jane, since I really don’t know their names this time. They enter his small apartment and sit down across from him at the kitchen table. Mister P turns to them with a look of concern.

“This was in the mail, it was supposed to be for the new tenant at 1420.” He then reveals the tiny bottle, and the confusion was well-nigh palpable. Mister P looks at Jane and Jane looks at Dick and Dick looks at Mister P, then they alternate and look at the other person like a clichéd action movie. After a minute or two … (More) “The Palisander Conspiracy”