Day: June 6, 2012

June 6, 2012

30 in 30 Poetry Edition, Day 6: Demons

The strangest dream I ever had,
Was when I realized I was in one.
I was surrounded by demons on all sides,
Closing in, slowly but surely.
Making me wish I could do more with this last breath.
Wishing I had someone to tell that I loved them.
Wishing I had time to eat one more mango.
One more day getting in fights,
face ground against cinderblock.

Wondering how I was looking at myself in the third person.
And that was my first clue.

Wild hope sprung within me.
I might not get eaten by demons today.
I might get to go back to my life in Miami,
My stab wound was healed,
And I’d be going into 5th grade soon.
Things were looking up,
But the demons were ever closer.

I told my dream self,
“If you gasp, you’ll escape.”
I gasped. I escaped.

I looked around a familiar bedroom, heart still pounding.
I realized life on this side of the dream wasn’t much better.

When you’re the parent of a chronically bullied child,
It’s easy to tell the child the bullies are just jealous.
I was the smallest child in my class by far,
Working three years ahead, learning four languages.
I’d have traded my brains for any other body in a heartbeat.
Perpetuating a vicious cycle of antisocial behavior.
Realized life had already peaked at nine years old.
Told my mom I’d thought about drowning myself.

I often wondered what would have happened,
If the demons had caught me, killed me in my dreams.
I think I would’ve lost my mind that night.
I think I would’ve woken up half-dead.
Unable to defend myself even in the confines
Of my own head.… (More) “30 in 30 Poetry Edition, Day 6: Demons”