Daniel Tharp » Deep Thoughts

Brevity

Daniel — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 22:58:34 +0000

Brevity is fine,
I need to remember this.
See you on Monday.

Sunday, January 9, 2005

Daniel — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 05:28:01 +0000

Once upon thirteen drugs heady, as I rocked on slow and steady,
To Squarepusher’s title track off the album Ultravisitor
While I tripped out, nearly napping, suddenly I heard a yapping,
As of someone loudly rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“Tis some wigger dude,” I muttered, “Rapping at my chamber door -
Just a wigger, nothing more.”

Well, I really don’t remember but I think it was December,
And each trippy drug cast its own walrus ‘cross the kitchen floor.
Cleverly I tried to steal from my uncle’s stash a meal,
Of pop tarts and potato peels that he purchased from the store.
Oreos and big cheese wheels that he purchased from the store.
Ninety-nine cents at the store.

And when the hungry hungry hippos flicked their golden shiny Zippos,
I was filled with terror that no man had ever felt before.
So that now, to still the beating of my heart I stood repeating
“Tis some wigger dude entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some bling-blingin’ dude entreating entrance at my chamber door.
Just a wigger, nothing more.”

A conspiracy from outer space. Also, you’re drunk.

Daniel — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 17:06:46 +0000

I’ve yet to figure out why, or how, this works, but it’s happened enough times over the past few months that I can only assume the worst. By the worst I of course mean that aliens are remotely turning off the hot water when I decide to wash my hair. EVERY SINGLE TIME! What is that? I can be in the shower 5 seconds or half an hour, whenever I say to myself “Why don’t I wash my hair?” I get a reply from a superior lifeform, observing from the Oort Cloud. Observing as my concern turns to irritation which turns into a frenzied melee of lathering, rinsing, and repeating.

Even now, as I write this naked with wet hair (which I’m sure you all were dying to know), I can only hope these lifeforms find out what they’re wanting soon.

Twelve Twenty Five Oh Nine Nine Twenty Four

Daniel — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 02:28:32 +0000

Something to consider, and be honest with yourself: How often does the image that you project to those around you match up with who you feel you really are? Do you feel uncomfortable with exploring this line of thought, knowing that it’s more often than not? Do you wish you could drop this second character and just be yourself, unafraid and beyond reproach for doing something most people are too scared to attempt?

Why don’t you?

Sleep Thoughts

Daniel — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 14:06:09 +0000

So last night I think I had a dream that involved making a sandwich and getting yelled at because it was too big. I didn’t think it was though. Why would people hate on a sandwich?

I want a stamp.

Daniel — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 01:14:46 +0000

We make stamps at work, I want one that says “I ASKED A STUPID QUESTION” in angry red letters. And when someone…asks a stupid question, I will smash the stamp down on their stupid head. And send them on their way slightly wiser for the experience.

Deep Thought, 9:09PM, May 23, 2008

Daniel — Sat, 24 May 2008 03:57:57 +0000

If computer mouses were called computer mooses, I would never be able to keep a straight face at work.

If you’re trying to sleep…

Daniel — Thu, 01 May 2008 12:51:18 +0000

It would be best not to poke yourself in the damn eye. x_o

Questionable Contributions

Daniel — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 12:22:05 +0000

The only thing I can really think of that is truly American, and nobody else in the world is doing, is country music. And that sucks. If someone can think of something else (and don’t give me the idealistic bullshit like the Bill of Rights, which also isn’t uniquely American), leave a comment and we can talk about it.