Introducing Service as a Service.
–NEW YORK, May 23, 2016
Bearpuncher Solutions, LLC, renowned innovative creators of Hypertext Over HTTP and Thursday, have broken the mold all over again with a new service paradigm for the connected world of everything and also things.
Service as a Service® combines the proven demand for service with the modern efficiencies of As A Service. What results is a business model familiar to many.
“Look, I invented Thursday, and if there’s anything I know, it’s that Service as a Service® is way more than just paying an employee to work for you,” was the quote from company CEO Dave Bearpuncher.
Bearpuncher continued, “To start with, you only pay the employees for the hours they’re scheduled to work. And in return, they do work for you, like make the next Facebook. You’d have to be a real [stupid person] to not see the difference.”
Bearpuncher Solutions (NYSE: MAUL) is expected to begin licensing Service as a Service® in Q3.
“This Service as a Service® is gonna be a real game-changer for the DevOpsese and Cloudmen. Everyone is going to service their business using a service-driven service model,” said Jim Bearpuncher, Director of Marketing.
“Other financial people ask me, ‘Jimmy, why would we want to license Service as a Service®? It seems awfully similar to what we’ve been doing.’ And I tell them, I tell them, look at this watch. That’s no Folex, brother.”
Many analysts have raved about the new service model, improving guidance on Bearpuncher Solutions to a Strong Buy. Some are less convinced, however.
“If someone can explain to me in twenty words or less what Bearpuncher Solutions does and how Dave Bearpuncher is a billionaire, I’ll give you a hundred bucks,” an anonymous financial advisor wrote.
“Utter rubbish. They’re trying to copyright the practice of working for money,” said another unnamed source.
Bearpuncher Solutions is confident that they are in the clear here.
“A lot of people have called us bad things in the past,” said Dr. Ronald Bearpuncher, Ph.D., Chief Theoretical Engineer for Bearpuncher Solutions. “But you know what those people don’t have? A professional baseball team, and a 380-foot yacht off the coast of Santorini where I can get drunk and yell at the fish. They’re losers. We will continue to defend all of our IP, including Service as a Service®, and enforce licensing compliance.”
Bearpuncher Solutions ended the day up $5.73 at $376.80 per share.