UofL-bound once more.
Apparently I’m not quite smart enough for Business school, but I am smart enough to be a student in the department of Arts and Sciences. And that’s okay. Honestly I don’t care what they label me at the moment, but the thought that I really wasn’t going to be able to go back to Louisville bothered me more than I’d care to admit.
Three more weeks of class, a month to get ready, and then back in Louisville and this time I’m going with a focus that I didn’t have the first time. I was just so damn ready to get away from everything at home, that I forgot what I was going for.
The great stereotypical response to why I was even going to college would be “to make my parents proud”. It was during a visit to my mom’s grave a year ago that I came to a rather deep personal truth; they were already proud of me. However I ended on this trip, they’d be proud. I had to make me proud of me. That’s it. A simple thought, but it reveals all kinds of things about one’s true nature.
So I try again, again a little scared, little nervous. Lots of little details to cover between now and then, such as how I’m actually going to pay for all of this. But it’s all one step at a time, and I can’t do much about things like that at midnight, nor do I really care to.
The dream’s alive again, and I fear it’ll keep me from sleep for a night or two.