The World of Badly Named OD Products, Vol. I

So I’m in lockup this morning getting some tasks taken care of. I stumble across the item you see to your left. It is a real item, I am not clever enough to make stuff like this up. Enter the i.Beat emo, a device that I assume is an MP3 player for people I loathe. I was immediately reminded of a day about two years ago. 6/6/06, National Emo Kid Beatdown Day. I did punch a fellow teenager in his personal grill with my personal fist. And deep down I think we both enjoyed it. Now you can have that joy all the time, by punching the face of anyone that owns one of these things. Remember, that’s the i.Beat emo, available at your local Office Depot. Christ.