February 13, 2009

A conspiracy from outer space. Also, you’re drunk.

By Daniel

I’ve yet to figure out why, or how, this works, but it’s happened enough times over the past few months that I can only assume the worst. By the worst I of course mean that aliens are remotely turning off the hot water when I decide to wash my hair. EVERY SINGLE TIME! What is that? I can be in the shower 5 seconds or half an hour, whenever I say to myself “Why don’t I wash my hair?” I get a reply from a superior lifeform, observing from the Oort Cloud. Observing as my concern turns to irritation which turns into a frenzied melee of lathering, rinsing, and repeating.

Even now, as I write this naked with wet hair (which I’m sure you all were dying to know), I can only hope these lifeforms find out what they’re wanting soon.