{"id":143,"date":"2009-02-13T13:06:46","date_gmt":"2009-02-13T17:06:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/?p=143"},"modified":"2009-02-13T13:06:46","modified_gmt":"2009-02-13T17:06:46","slug":"a-conspiracy-from-outer-space","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/2009\/02\/a-conspiracy-from-outer-space\/","title":{"rendered":"A conspiracy from outer space.  Also, you&#8217;re drunk."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve yet to figure out why, or how, this works, but it&#8217;s happened enough times over the past few months that I can only assume the worst.  By the worst I of course mean that aliens are remotely turning off the hot water when I decide to wash my hair.  EVERY SINGLE TIME!  What is that?  I can be in the shower 5 seconds or half an hour, whenever I say to myself &#8220;Why don&#8217;t I wash my hair?&#8221; I get a reply from a superior lifeform, observing from the Oort Cloud.  Observing as my concern turns to irritation which turns into a frenzied melee of lathering, rinsing, and repeating.<\/p>\n<p>Even now, as I write this naked with wet hair (which I&#8217;m sure you all were dying to know), I can only hope these lifeforms find out what they&#8217;re wanting soon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve yet to figure out why, or how, this works, but it&#8217;s happened enough times over the past few months that I can only assume the worst. By the worst I of course mean that aliens are remotely turning off the hot water when I decide to wash my hair. EVERY SINGLE TIME! What is [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-143","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-deep-thoughts"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1RwV4-2j","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=143"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":144,"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/143\/revisions\/144"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=143"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=143"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=143"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}