Why yes, I will have another Baconator, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re so polite.
\nI\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m really feeling that last KFC gravy shot.
\nDo you mind if I wipe the grease off on your cat?
\nYou do? Well then. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be on my way.<\/p>\n
I find the nicotine rush is much more intense when I stick a cigarette up each of my nostrils.
\nI am the Marlboro dragon, with the power of emphysema.
\nKind sir, will you light the cigarettes stuck in my ears? I cannot reach them without singing my hair.
\nYou won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t? Well then. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be on my way.<\/p>\n
You know what cuts down the burn after Tequila shots? Bath salt snooters.
\nThose crafty cats at the labs just keep evading the law.
\nIf it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s legal, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gotta be okay. God knows the Government is watching out for my health.
\nI feel fucking fantastic. Excuse me miss, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll give you twenty bucks if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll let me chew your nose off.
\nNo? Maybe an ear? No? Well then. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be on my way.<\/p>\n
What the fuck do you mean I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have a large Coke with my Double Down?
\nThe great state of New York thought I was responsible enough to own and carry the pistol that is currently dangling from my middle finger.
\nMaybe Bloomberg is afraid it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll keep me up past my bedtime.
\nMaybe I offend him with my chubby existence.
\nI think we can all agree, this is the most important step to making me skinny.
\nOh, I can still grab a Big Gulp? Sixty-seven ounces of Coke for a dollar? Later.
\nI used to drink 20 ounce Pepsis, now I only buy Big Gulps. Triple the volume for 30 cents less! Thanks Mayor.<\/p>\n
I can see you know best how to keep me healthy.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Why yes, I will have another Baconator, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re so polite. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m really feeling that last KFC gravy shot. Do you mind if I wipe the grease off on your cat? You do? Well then. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be on my way. I find the nicotine rush is much more intense when I stick a cigarette up each […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[39,38],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-397","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-30-in-30-poetry-edition","category-poetry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1RwV4-6p","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/397","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=397"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/397\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":398,"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/397\/revisions\/398"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=397"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=397"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/danieltharp.com\/weblog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=397"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}