I realized today that the amount of writing I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve done this month probably exceeded what I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d done for a very long time before. I looked it up and it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s roughly exceeded the count of the last three and a half years prior. And I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m happy I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m getting back into it, I feel like it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s beneficial to me. I get to see who refers clicks to the blog, I average roughly one click per article from Facebook most days which is just fine. Truth be told, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m writing for myself, and I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t feel any particular way on the audience or lack thereof.<\/p>\n
The results of the CT scan and the doctor visit were pretty unhelpful. Nothing to confirm what I do have, but it did at least eliminate the scarier possibilities of what it could<\/em> have been, so I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll take it. I also found out I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve lost about five pounds since the last visit, which means the amount of weight to lose is far closer to 30 pounds than to 40. For some reason that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a much, much more reasonable number to me, far more than the actual difference. And I feel good today, in a way that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s hard to elaborate on. Happier. I think it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s because I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m doing a better job of pulling my weight at work. Tomorrow, two of my three employees and my supervisor are all out. Those two employees are out all week actually, and one is out all next week too. So I have to be much more alert and responsive, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m doing it. The training wheels and excuse-making period is long passed. Being able to hold my own in this period will look really good, and anything beyond that will look fantastic. Time to get it in, you know? Just hoping there aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t any major fires to fight solo. That would be awesome.<\/p>\n I was looking through old emails for some contact information from someone I haven\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t spoken to in quite a while, and the last note I have from him was really something I should never have lost sight of. I really admire the guy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s writing, and he indicated that getting me to write more, to exercise and train that talent, would justify all of his<\/em> work. I feel bad for betraying that confidence, that tacit endorsement that I was doing good work. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s got me thinking about some longer-term plans for the blog, something resembling a return to those roots.<\/p>\n